My family and I spent 3 weeks in Evanston, Illinois this past summer for a visit combining business and pleasure. Rather than stay in a hotel for 3 weeks we chose to sublet a student apartment right near Northwestern University. The possibilities were endless to examine and strip away our expectations of "need" and "want.”
I can't tell you the square footage of the apartment (I don't know it!) but it was significantly smaller than our generous-sized home in Michigan. We shared a 1-bedroom apartment subleted from a single graduate student. It had a small kitchen, a bathroom, 1 bedroom and a larger room that he/she probably used as a sitting room, dining room, and everything else room. The 'everything else' room was used by our 2 boys as a bedroom as well as serving as our dining room. The student must not have spent much time in the apartment, as there was not much there. We brought with us everything we felt we would need, including our 4 bicycles, in my mini van and my husband's compact. We had everything we needed and the bulk of what we wanted and we still weren’t overloaded.
Everything we did during our stay in the apartment required thought. It was a third floor walk-up, with laundry room and bike racks in the basement. Even food was something that needed to be actively considered. A small apartment-sized refrigerator and limited kitchen gear made each home-cooked dinner something of an adventure.
As we spent time living this different life style on a day-to-day basis, we discovered that we really didn’t miss a lot of what we had left behind. It really hit home for me about all the excesses in our life. Books we read and hold onto in case we want to reference them again, clothes we haven't worn in years that might be perfect for some event we have
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yet to be invited to, records and cds we haven't listened to in years but had once enjoyed. The list goes on and on of stuff that fills up our home but fills no real purpose in our lives.
Now, some can be justified. Maybe there is sentimental value, or a holiday item used once a year, or things that would be expensive to rent or re-purchase for the infrequent times they are used. But most of it is just stuff. Every year another birthday and holiday season to receive more presents, generously given but with no real need.
I found myself looking around the house upon our return and seeing things differently. It is not that my things own me, but they do take up my space. Over time, it has seemed easier to store things than to part with them. Especially when we have the space to hold on to them.
We do that in life, too. Holding on to people, places, jobs, and other aspects of our lives that feel easier to deal with by retaining the status quo. We want to make changes, but there is that element of safety in holding on, that prevents us from letting go of the old to experience the new. I think we miss out on a lot by doing that, the chance to explore other spaces, options, and thoughts that might be available to us.
Since our return I have made numerous trips to the Salvation Army, with bags of things that someone else might appreciate. I am working on letting go of the things in my life that no longer have real use. Now the trick will be not to fill up the open space just because it is there.
Marci Grossman is a CPA and writer, energetically choosing to enjoy the experiences that life brings. Visit her website at www.empressmar.com |
